Locked in With a Madwoman
by Saerry Snape
Summary: Some of the HP char's get locked in a room with yours truly. Some chars get bashed, some get transformed into various things, and some get a nice hug. ^^ CHAPTER 5! EVEN MORE INSANITY!
1. Let the insanity begin!

A/N: *evil grin*  I have decided to be evil.  How?  Weeeeeell, you'll just have to wait and see.  MWAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

All the HP char's appear in a plain white room with lots of beanbags and cushions (beanbags are FUN!).

Harry: Um, where are we?

Hermione: I don't know.

Draco: *fake gasp*  The Mudblood doesn't know for once!

Harry & Ron: SHUT UP FERRET!

Draco: *growl*

Snape: *scowls at everyone and leans against a wall*

Sirius: What's going on?

Snape: *sneers at Sirius*  If we knew that we wouldn't be here.

Sirius: Shut up you snake.

Snape: What a weak little comeback for you Black.

Sirius: *snarl*

Hermione: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!

Everyone: *stares at Hermione*

Hermione: *looks at feet*  Um….

Harry: Yea…anyone know how we can get out of here?

Draco: I think we've already gone over that Potty.

Harry: Shut up Ferret.

Draco: Um….NO.

Harry: *lunges at Draco*

Fred: Who do you think'll win?

Ron: 10 Sickles on Harry!

Snape: *smirks* Draco.

Sirius: Bad choice.  Harry's going to pummel your little Slytherin Snape.

Snape: *growl*

Remus: *drags Sirius away*

Meanwhile, I enter the room and watch the fun. 

Neville: Hey, who's that?

Ron: *looks from fight*  Who?

Neville: *points at me* That person in the corner.

Ron: Snape?

Snape: *glares at Ron*

Hermione: THE OTHER CORNER!

Everyone: *stares at Hermione*

Hermione: *sits on a beanbag*

Me: Hello guys.

Sirius: Who are you?

Me: I'm the author.

Remus: So you're the one that brought us here?

Snape: How intelligent you are werewolf.

Sirius: *snarl*

Me: Boys, boys, no fighting.

Hermione: Draco and Harry are fighting.

Me: *smiles*  And Harry's winning.

Hermione: BUT THEIR FIGHTING!

Me: AND YOU'RE ANNOYING!  *snaps fingers and Hermione is wrapped up in duct tape*

Hermione: Mrrrrphapha….

Me: Much better.

Dumbledore: Perhaps we should stop the fight.

Me: Oh COME ON, Albus, let um fight.  Harry's pummeling Draco.

Dumbledore: That doesn't mean anything.

Me: To me it does.  And I'm the author.  What I say goes.

Dumbledore: I'm the headmaster.

McGonagall: Yes, he is.

Me: Yer point cat woman?

McGonagall: I AM NOT A CAT WOMAN!

Me: Riiiight.  *snaps fingers and McGonagall is a cat*

McGonagall: MROW!

Snape: *smirks*  I think she's much better as a cat.

Me: I agree.

McGonagall: *hisses and swipes at Snape's leg*

Snape: *stuns her*

Me: BAD KITTY!  *stuffs McGonagall in a cage*  NOBODY HARMS SNAPE WHILE I'M AROUND!!!

Sirius: *smirks at Snape*  I think you have a fan.

Snape: Impossible.

Sirius: So you thought.

Harry: *stares at me*  You LIKE Snape?

Me: What?  I like Sirius too!

Sirius: Eww…

Me: WHY YOU…

Sirius: I mean, HOORAY!  *fake grin*

Remus: *snorts*

Me: *pats Sirius' cheek*  Much better.

Snape: *laughs*

Me: What are you laughing at boy-o?  I ain't even started with YOU.

Snape: *blinks and pales*

Sirius: *falls on floor laughing*

Remus: This author is crazy.

Me: CRAZY AM I?

Remus: Er, yes.

Me: *smiles*  You're lucky you're a werewolf Remus.  If you weren't Herm would have company in duct-tape-mummy-land.

Hermione: *glares*

Ron: I didn't know Hermione knew how to glare.

Hermione: *eyes glow red*

Neville: AH!  HER EYES ARE GLOWING!

Ron: *gulp*  I didn't know she could do that either.

Me: It's my story.  I can do what I want.  Like….  *snaps fingers and Hermione turns into a copper colored dragon with red eyes*

Hermione: *roars and flicks out her tongue at Ron*

Ron: *gulp*

Harry: Um, how did that happen?

Me: Me.

Dumbledore: Me, Me makes no sense.

Me: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DUMBLES!

Sirius, Harry, Remus: DUMBLES?

Me: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

Snape: Its extremely stupid.

Draco: *rubs head*  I agree.

Me: *sneers at Draco*  I never liked you Ferret.

Draco: Feelings mutual.

Harry & Ron: Very much so.

Hermione: *snorts*

Me: What should we do to the Ferret?

Hermione: *breaths fire*

Me: As good as that sounds we can't burn him Herm.

Ron: *frowns*  Damn!

Sirius: DON'T CURSE!

Harry: You do Sirius.

Sirius: THAT DOESN'T MATTER!

Me: Sure it does.

Sirius: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!

Me: BAD DOGGY!  *snaps fingers and Sirius is in his Animagus form*  Much better.

Harry: *stares*

Snape: *smirks*  Not much of a difference.

Sirius: *growls*

Me: *whacks Sirius on the nose*  NO GROWLING AT SNAPE!  THAT'S MY JOB!

Snape: *pales*

Remus: *coughs*

Me: *hugs Snape*

Snape: *pales more*

Harry: *laugh*

Ron: THE AUTHOR HAS A CRUSH ON SNAPE!

Me: I DO NOT!

Sirius: *barks*

Remus: *laughs*

Draco: Even I agree with the Weasel.

Ron: Be still my heart.

Me: *turns Draco into a Ferret and bounces him around the room*

Harry, Ron, Remus: *fall over laughing like mad*

Dumbledore: This is very wrong.

Snape: *nods and tries to pry me off*

Me: *clings*

Snape: GET HER OFF!

Dumbledore: *smiles*  Easier said than done.  I'm sure you can handle it Severus.

Snape: ALBUS!

Dumbledore: *vanishes*

Me: *hugs Snape*  Heheheheh.  Your at my mercy now Sev.

Snape: *moans*  Why me?

Harry: It's your charming good looks.

Ron: Yea!  *laugh*

Snape: *glares at the two*

Me: Everyone can go now!

Everyone: HOORAY!

Me: *evil grin*  Except for Sev of course.

Snape: *groan*

Harry: *waves*  Have fun Professor!

Ron: *doubles over with laughter*

Hermione: *returns to normal and chuckles softly*

Sirius: *also normal again with a huge, goofy grin on his face*  And I thought you'd never find someone ye slimy git.

Snape: *growl*

Remus: *chuckles*

McGonagall: *normal too and glaring at everyone*  EVERYONE GET BACK TO HOGWART'S NOW!

Me: *grins*  That's exactly where your going Professor.  Bye guys!  I'll see you all later!  And I promise to return Sev soon!

Everyone: *groans and vanish*

Me: Now how bout we have some fun?

Snape: *moans*  What did you have in mind?

Me: *waves a hand*  Oh, killing Voldemort and Pettigrew and doing some very nasty things to Fudge and that bloody git of a Skeeter woman.

Snape: *blinks*

Me: What?  I ain't all sugar and sweetness.  I'm insane and I really don't like them.  Add in Lucius Malfoy and we've got a full house.

Snape: *smiles slightly*  Sounds…interesting.

Me: Good.  Want to join me?

Snape: Certainly.

The room becomes empty and from far off comes my insane cackling as I turn old Voldie into a cute little bunny rabbit and turn him over to a vet as a rabid animal that should not be in the wild.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am not only insane; I am also quite evil when I want to be.  ^__^  So, what did ya'll think of my insane little conversation?  For those who have not read my little bio-thingy, YES, BY GOD, I AM A SERIOUS SNAPE FAN.  SUE ME! (yes, that _is_ a figure of speech)  =D  Moving on!  Read, enjoy, and review.  It costs nothing and all you have to do is press the little button in the bottom left hand corner of your screen.

Enjoy.

^_______________________________________________^


	2. The insanity continues

A/N: *evil grin*  THE INSANITY HAS RETURNED!!  FWAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

All the HP char's (excluding Snape) appear again in the plain white room with lots of beanbags (FUN!!!) and cushions.

Harry: *moans* Not this again!

Ron: *blinks*

Draco: *rolls his eyes*

Neville: Hey!  There's that person in the corner again!

Harry: *looks*

Ron: There are two of them!

_I step out of my shadowy little corner._

Me: *grins and waves at the HP chars*  Hi guys!

Everyone: *grumble grumble*

Me: Oh come on.  BUCK UP!

Draco: What kind of phrase is that?

Snape: *steps out of the shadowy little corner and sneers at everyone*  It means be happy.

Dumbledore: *smiles*  Hello Severus.  Have you been having fun?

Snape: Hello professor.  *grins*  Loads.

Everyone (cept Dumbledore): *gape at Snape (a/n: hey that rhymes!)*

Hermione: Did Professor Snape just say he had _fun?_

Ron: *smirks*  Who'da thunk?

Harry: *shrugs*

Me: *grins*  Oh, we've been having loads of fun.  Have a looksie.  *scribbles something on a notepad*

_Voldemort appears in the room._

Everyone (cept Dumbledore, Snape, me, and Harry): AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Voldemort: *looks around*  What's going on?

Me: You're in my nice little room where you can't harm anyone.

Volde: *glares at me*  You.

Me: Yes.

Volde: *growl*

Ron: *cowers against the wall*  What'd you do to him?

Snape: *smirks*  She turned him into a rabbit and gave him to a vet.

Everyone: *laughs*

Volde: *glares at everyone*  I'm going to kill you all.

Me: Tut tut Volde.  No killing in my room.

Volde: *glares*  Whose going to stop me?

Me: Me.  After all, I _am_ the writer.  *grins*

Volde: *blinks*  Oh no….

_Volde turns into a little white rabbit with red eyes._

Me: Much better.

Snape: *chuckles*

Everyone: *ROFL*

Volde: *in little squeaky voice*  STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

Everyone: *laugh even more*

Volde: *death glares everyone*

Harry: It's the evil Bunny Lord!

Ron: *falls over, laughing*

Sirius: *grins and bows*  All bow to the evil Bunny Lord.

Everyone: *bow then fall on the floor laughing*

Volde: *glare*  YOU WOULDN'T BE LAUGHING IF I HAD MY WAND!

Me: Which you won't be getting back anytime soon.  *twirls Volde's wand between fingers*

Snape: *grins*  Hmm, now what?

Me: I'm not sure Sev.  What should we do to them?

Snape: Decisions, decisions….

Everyone: *gulp*

Me: *grin*  Oh, don't worry guys!  It won't be anything bad.

Draco: Suuuuuure….

Me: I can easily turn you into a ferret Draco.

Draco: *glares*

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus: *laugh at Draco*

Draco: OH SHUT UP!

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus: NO WAY FERRET!

Draco: *sulks*

Snape: *laughs*  Perhaps we should….  *whispers the rest in my ear*

Me: Wonderful idea!  *hugs Snape*

Everyone: Oh no….

_Volde-Bunny becomes as big as a horse._

Volde: *laughs evilly*

Everyone: OH NO!!!!!!!!!  *hide under the pillows and cushions*

Volde: *bounces and lands on Draco*  Hello Draco, my boy.

Draco: *grins sheepishly*  Hello.

Volde: Hello what?

Draco: Hello………Volde?

Volde: Noooo….

Draco: Master?

Volde: *smiles*  Yes.  Kill the writer for me will you?

Draco: *gulps*  _ME?_

Volde: Yes.  NOW BOY!  *jumps on Harry*  Ah, Harry, so we meet again.

Harry: Hello Mr. Bunny Lord.

Volde: *growl*

Harry: *laughs*  I'm sorry.  It's just that being threatened by a giant rabbit is absolutely hilarious.

Volde: How about getting flattened by a giant rabbit?

Harry: *pales*

Me: THERE WILL BE NO FLATTENING HARRY POTTER!!

Draco: *sneaks up behind me*

Snape: Oh no you don't.  *waves his wand*

Draco: *turns into a white ferret*  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me: Thank you Sev.

Snape: *smiles*  Your welcome.

Volde: Time to die Harry.

Harry: *blink blink*

Me: OH NO YE DON'T LADDIE! (a/n: I love that line!)

_Volde turns into a red-eyed turtle._

Volde: *blink blink*  Oh my…

Harry: *grins*  Who's the bigger one now?

Volde: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  *runs*

Harry: *chases after Volde*

Me: *falls over laughing*

Hermione: This is insane!

Ron, Sirius, and Remus: *laughing*  YOU'VE GOT THAT RIGHT!

Hermione: It's not right!

Ron, Sirius, and Remus: YES IT IS!

Hermione: * death glares the three*

Ron, Sirius, and Remus: meep….

Ron: She looks mad.

Sirius: Ya think?

Remus: *shakes his head at the two*

Me: OOO!

_Hermione turns into a dragon, just like she did the first time in the little white room.._

Hermione: *snort*

Ron: Uh-oh…

Sirius: Uh-oh is right…

Remus: You two are going to get it.

Ron and Sirius: YOU'RE COMING ALONG WITH US!!

Remus: NO I'M NOT!

Ron and Sirius:  YES.  YOU.  ARE!

Remus: *growl*

Ron and Sirius: *back up*

Sirius: Okay, Moony, fine.  The rampaging dragon that used to be Hermione'll just kill us.

Remus: Fine by me.

Sirius: MOONY!

Ron: ACK!

Hermione: *spits fire at the two*

Ron and Sirius: AHHHHHHHHHHH!  *run around like madmen*

Snape and me: *laugh hysterically*

Dumbledore: *stands in a corner and watches the insanity*

McGonagall: *stands beside Dumbledore*  Albus how can you allow this?

Dumbledore: I'm not.  I'm watching.  *eats some popcorn that magically appeared*

McGonagall: *sighs*

Harry: AH HA!  *holds up Volde-Turtle*

Volde: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: This is boring.  Whatdaya say we do a little changing?

Snape: I think that would be good.  What shall we do?

Me: Ah!  THAT is the question!  *grins evilly*  C'mon Sev.  We must _carefully_ plan what we are going to do to them.  *laughs maniacally and rubs her hands together*

Snape: *grins evilly*

All: ……….

Me and Snape: *vanish from sight, leaving the characters _alone_ in the little white room*

Draco: *squeaky voice*  HEY!  SEND US BACK!

Harry: Oh Ferret!  *grins evilly*

Draco: EEP!  *runs*

Harry: COME BACK HERE!  *gives chase*

Everyone else: O_O

A/N: And now we end the insanity.  But there is more to come!  ^-^  Just as soon as me and Sev finish planning.  MWAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!


	3. Potions Why must it be potions?

**Disclaimer: **Ah, yes, I forgot this.  All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and a new character who will join the torture, ahem, I mean _fun_.

**Plot:**  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

**So far….:** Ah yes, Sev and I have been torturing the poor characters and are now planning on doing something abominably terrible to them.  Currently Draco is a ferret and Harry is chasing him while Voldemort is a turtle.  Everyone else is watching the chase.

**From now on:** We have a narrator!  I have to pay him 50 Galleons a day but hey, at least we have him!  The narrator will be in [brackets] are character actions will now be in (parenthesis) as Word insists on makes words between *asterisks* bold.  Oh yes, and I will now be mentioned as Saerry, Sev as Sev, and our newcomer, my insane friend from the real world, is Lacey.

And the only characters in the room at this time are Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Voldemort, Saerry, Lacey, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black

MOVING ON!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the little white room!  Currently Harry is chasing Draco around the room with a large hammer while everyone else watches.  Let's see what's going on…]

Harry: COME BACK HERE!

Draco: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ron: This is amusing.

Hermione: (snorts)

Saerry: (returns)  Oh my….

Voldemort: CHANGE ME BACK!

Saerry: Plainly….NO!

Voldemort: (whimper)

All: (roll eyes)

Sev: (enters with a blond haired girl)  Ah, here we are again.

All: Who's that?

Girl: Um, where am I?

Saerry: You're in my story Lacey.

Lacey: Huh?

Saerry: Oh, me and Sev here are torturing the poor Harry Potter characters.  And I thought you might like to join us.

Lacey: (grins evilly)  Of course!

All: ……

Saerry: (evil laughter)

[(chuckle)]

Harry: What was that?  (stops chasing Draco)

Saerry: Oh, that's the narrator.  I have to pay him 50 Galleons a day to work but he does a good job.

[Yes I do.]

Draco: So now we've got another crazy person in here?

(Saerry and Lacey glare)

Draco: O_O  Whimper, whimper…

[Hmphf.  Oh my….]

Saerry: What?

[I just received an owl from Dumbledore.]

Sirius: What's it say?

Volde and Draco: (now back to normal)  Who wants to know?

Everyone else:  WE DO!!  (glare)

Volde and Draco: O__O  meep…

Saerry: So, what does it say?

[Um, are you sure you want to know?]

Saerry: I PAY YOU 50 GALLEONS A DAY SO YEA I WANNA KNOW!

Sev: Saerry, calm down.

Saerry: Mmm…

Lacey: Um, what does it say?

[Well….it says that Peeves somehow got transported into this room and….well….]

Saerry: (evil eye)  Well WHAT?

[(gulp)  It seems Peeves has put several potions from Snape's private storeroom in here.]

Sev: HOW DID THAT BLASTED POLTERGEIST GET IN _MY **PRIVATE**_STORES?!

Saerry: Temper, Severus, temper.  (glares)  What potions?

[Um….]

All: JUST SAY THEM!!!!

[All right!  No need to get huffy about it.  (grumbles)]

All: (sigh)

[Alright….well there is a Corpus Inflecto Potion, a Amor Potion, and a Canto Potion]

All but Sev: WHAT?

Saerry: Anyone know what those mean?

Sev: Body Change, Love, and Sing.

Harry: You've got to be joking.

Sev and Narrator: [ Unfortunately not ]

All: ……..

[I am happy to inform that the potions do not affect Muggles]

Saerry: That's you Lace

Lacey: YAY!  (beams)

Ron: (stares at Saerry)  Aren't you a Muggle too?

Saerry: I'M THE RUDDY AUTHOR!!

[So she can't be affected]

Ron: Oh…

Sirius: So, which potions first?

[No clue]

All except Lacey and Saerry: …..

Saerry: (scribbles something on a sheet of paper, pulls an owl out of nowhere, and sends it off)

[Ah, I am happy to inform Severus that the potions also will not affect him]

Sev: (beams)

Everyone else: WHY NOT?!

Saerry: CAUSE I SAID SO!

[Oh my….]

All: WHAT?

[The Corpus Inflecto Potion affects _everyone_ while the other two do not]

Saerry, Lacey, and Sev: Aw hell….

All else: (evil laughter)

[And that will be the first potion to take effect]

Remus: When?

[In….five….four…three…two…one…..NOW]

The Switches 

Sirius – Sev

Harry – Draco

Ron – Hermione

Volde – Saerry

Remus – Lacey

(Changes will be noted as so and so in so and so)

Saerry in Volde: Oh my…

Sirius in Sev: (looks down)  AH!!

Sev in Sirius: (glower)  Shut up Black.

Sirius in Sev: You shut up you snake.

Saerry in Volde: SIRIUS!!!  (glare)

All: (wince)

Saerry in Volde: Heheheheh….

Ron in Hermione: Huh?  AH!  NO!

Hermione in Ron:  (sigh)

Harry in Draco, Draco in Harry: (glare)

Volde in Saerry: Does this mean I'm the writer now?

All: NO!

Volde in Saerry: Aw poo…

All: O_O

[Well, this is interesting….]

All: (glare)

[O_____O  I'll be quiet now…]

Saerry in Volde: That would be a good idea.  Hmm, I wonder what this does…  (waves Volde's wand and mutters something)

(a green beam of light shoots out of the wand and bounces around the room)

Saerry in Volde: Whoops….

All: DON'T DO THAT!!!

Remus in Lacey: Now what?

Saerry in Volde: (shrug)

Lacey in Remus: This is weird.

Sev in Sirius, Sirius in Sev: Your telling me.  (scowl at each other)

Draco in Harry, Harry in Draco: (growl and start a staring contest)

Saerry in Volde, Lacey in Remus, Hermione in Ron:  Boys….

Rest: (blink, blink)

Remus in Lacey:  That didn't look right.

Ron in Hermione, Volde in Saerry: Nope.

Saerry in Volde, Lacey in Remus, Hermione in Ron: Oh SHUT UP!

Remus in Lacey, Ron in Hermione, Volde in Saerry: Yes ma'am.

Saerry in Volde: Sev, how long does this potion last?

Sev in Sirius: Er….

Ron in Hermione: That doesn't sound good.

All: Nope.

Saerry in Volde: You mean you don't know?

Sev in Sirius: Er…

All: ………

[Five hours]

All: **_FIVE HOURS!!!!!!!_**

****

[………]

All: (sigh)

Saerry in Volde: This is going to be a long night.

Everyone else: Yep.

MWAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ^_^

Oh, and a few notes…..

tracey – Thank you

leanne – ^-^  Where would the world be without insane people?  *insane grin*

Taracolloween – Your insane?  I'M INSANE!  WE'RE ALL A BIG HAPPY INSANE FAMILY!!!  *begins to sing and dance*  (lol at me  ^^)

Jamster713 – lol  *grin*

Gumlick - *Snape bows*  Thank you.

AllAboutMe – Of course!  *big goofy grin*  I am continuing!  Its so much fun to torture these guys!  *evil laughter*  Hehehe…


	4. And so we continue

**Disclaimer: **All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.

**Plot:**  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

**So far….:** Ah yes, Sev and I have been torturing the poor characters and are now planning on doing something abominably terrible to them.  Draco was a ferret and Harry was chasing him while Voldemort was a turtle.  Everyone else was watching the chase until Sev and I reappeared, along with my friend Lacey and our narrator.  Our narrator was unfortunately informed by Dumbledore that Peeves got into the room, along with several potions from Sev's person stash.  Currently, we are being affected by the Corpus Inflecto, or Body Change, Potion.

**From now on:** We have a narrator!  I have to pay him 50 Galleons a day but hey, at least we have him!  The narrator will be in [brackets] are character actions will now be in (parenthesis) as Word insists on makes words between *asterisks* bold.  Oh yes, and I will now be mentioned as Saerry, Sev as Sev, and our newcomer, my insane friend from the real world, is Lacey.

And the only characters in the room at this time are Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Voldemort, Saerry, Lacey, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black.  One newcomer will soon join us

MOVING ON!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[And so we return to the little white room.  Peeves has somehow made his way in here and everyone is now being affected by the three potions he left.  Let's see what's going on….]

The Switches 

(For those who do not remember)

Sirius – Sev

Harry – Draco

Ron – Hermione

Volde – Saerry

Remus – Lacey

(Changes will be noted as so and so in so and so)

Saerry in Volde: Here we go again….

Harry in Draco: (sigh)

Sev in Sirius: Anyone know how long its been?

All: No.

Sev in Sirius: (snaps fingers)  Drat.

Sirius in Sev: (glare)  I hate this as much as you Snape.

Sev in Sirius: Shut up Black.

Sirius in Sev: Snake.

Sev in Sirius: Dog.

Sirius in Sev: Bas…

Saerry in Volde: SIRIUS!!!  (glare)

Sirius in Sev: (cowers)

Sev in Sirius: (put head in hands)  Oh Merlin…

Volde in Saerry: Dum dee dum…

Harry in Draco: (blinks)  I didn't just hear that.

Everyone else: (shakes heads)  Nope.  Didn't hear that.

Volde in Saerry: (hums and dances about the room)

All: (stare)

Saerry in Volde: (scowl)  LEAVE MY BODY ALONE YOU RUDDY IDIOT!!

Volde in Saerry: (glare)  Why should I?

Saerry in Volde: (scowl)  Because _I_ said so.

Volde in Saerry: (glare)  And why should _I_ listen to _you_?  I am Lord Voldemort!

Sev in Sirius: You look like Saerry to me.

Volde in Saerry: Shut up Severus.

Saerry in Volde: (points wand at Volde in Saerry)

Volde in Saerry: (laugh)  What are you going to do?  Kill me?

Saerry in Volde: No.  That would ruin the fun.  (mutters something)

(Volde in Saerry falls to the floor and begins to laugh)

All: What was that?

Saerry in Volde: (grin)  Tickle Charm.

All: Ooooooh….

[Ahem…]

Lacey in Remus: Hey!  The narrator's back!

All: (blandly)  Joy of joys…

[I have news.]

Ron in Hermione: Is it good?

[Depends on how you look at it.]

Hermione in Ron: What's that supposed to mean?

Draco in Harry: Good question.  (blink)

Hermione in Ron: (blink)

Draco in Harry: Oh hell!  I just agreed with the Mudblood!

Hermione in Ron: (growl and makes a strangling motion with hands)

Saerry in Volde: (waves a flag)  GOOOO HERMIONE!!!

Ron in Hermione: YEA!  GET 'EM HERM!

Sirius in Sev: (cheers)

Harry in Draco: HEY!  THAT'S MY BODY!!!

Hermione in Ron: (looks up from strangling Draco in Harry)  Oh, sorry Harry.

Harry in Draco: S'okay.

Draco in Harry: No its not okay!  My neck hurts now.

Hermione in Ron: (evil grin)  It could hurt worse..

Draco in Harry: (backs away)  No thank you.  (hides behind Volde in Saerry)

[(coughs)  A-HEM!]

All: _WHAT?!_

[O_O  (cough)  Do you want to hear the news or not?]

Saerry in Volde: (waves a hand)  Fine.  Spit it out.

[There will be another character joining us soon.]

Lacey in Remus: Really?  Who?

Remus in Lacey: Good question.

[Perhaps I shouldn't say…]

Saerry in Volde: I DON'T PAT YOU FIFTY GALLEONS A DAY TO KEEP SILENT!!!

Sev in Sirius: Temper, Saer.

Saerry in Volde: (growl)

(Rita Skeeter suddenly appears in the room)

Skeeter: (looks around)  Where am I?

Saerry in Volde: (laughs manically)  Oh, _this_ will be fun.

Skeeter: (screams)  He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!!

Volde in Saerry: No, that would be _me_.  _That_ (points at Saerry in Volde) would be the author.

Skeeter: YOUR JUST TRYING TO TRICK ME!!  (shrieks and runs around the room)

Harry in Draco: (covers ears)  WILL SOMEBODY SHUT HER UP!

Remus in Lacey: (punches Skeeter as she runs by)

Skeeter: (collapses)

All: (applause)

Hermione in Ron:  WHOOO!  GO PROFESSOR LUPIN!!

Ron in Hermione: YEA!

Harry in Draco: NICELY DONE PROFESSOR!

Remus in Lacey: (sheepish grin)  Thank you

[Ah!]

Saerry in Volde: What now?

[The Corpus Inflecto Potion will wear off in two minutes.]

All: YAY!

[Oh my…]

All: ……

Sirius in Sev: That doesn't sound good.

Sev in Sirius: (sarcastic)  You think?

[The Amor Potion will take immediate effect after the Corpus Inflecto Potion wears off.]

All: …….

[Sorry…]

Draco in Harry: _Sorry?_  WE'RE ABOUT TO BE AFFECTED BY A LOVE POTION AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS _SORRY?_

[I'M JUST READING THE SCRIPT!]

Draco in Harry: WHAT SCRIPT?

[(blink)  Um…]

Draco in Harry: Yea….

[(turns away)  Leave me alone.]

Draco in Harry: HA!

Saerry in Volde: (waves wand menacingly at Draco in Harry)

Draco in Harry: (gulp)

Saerry in Volde: Yea, I thought so.  NARRATOR!

[Yes?]

Saerry in Volde: How much longer till the potion wears off?

[Erm…  (looks at watch)  Three, two, one…]

(Everyone returns to their normal bodies)

Draco: YES!!  (dances)

Volde: (glares at Saerry, who is now rolling on the floor laughing)

Saerry: Get – this – haha – blasted – thing – off – hahaha – of – ha – me!

Sev: (waves wand)

Saerry: (stands up)  Thank you Severus.

Sev: Welcome Saerry.

[Erm, the Amor Potion has now taken affect.  Saerry, Lacey, and Severus will _not_ be affected by it]

Lacey: So we just sit back and watch?

Saerry: (nods)  That's the jist of it.

Lacey: (grin)  Yay.

Sev: I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting.

Saerry: Yep, especially when Skeeter wakes up.  I _really_ want to try some hexes out on her.

Lacey: Ooo!  I want to help!

Saerry: Okay Lace.  Sev, you want to give us a hand?

Sev: (smile)  Always willing to help.

Saerry: (evil grin)  Skeeter doesn't stand a chance.

Lacey and Sev: Nope!

[Perhaps you three should watch the others.]

Lacey: Why?

[Well….  Take a look.]

Lacey, Sev, Saerry: (look)

Draco: But Harry, I love you!  (runs after Harry)

Harry: GO AWAY!!!  (runs away from Draco)

Hermione: (chases Draco)  Leave Harry alone!

Ron: HERMOINE!!  (chases Hermione)

Saerry: (laughs)  Oh my…

Lacey: (falls over)

Sev: (chuckle)  It's a square of love.

Saerry and Lacey: (laugh uncontrollably)

[And we shall leave you here for now.  Next time, we shall explore the full affects of the Amor Potion.  Good night.]

MWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

My notes……

BleedingPillars – Really?  Yay!  (dances)

selena – Cool.  I'll try and get Lily and James in there eventually.  Oh and that certain _rat_  (cough, cough) will be joining the group _very_ soon.

Krista Snape – I have?  Where did I lose it?  I MUST FIND IT!  No, wait, I DON'T!  MWAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!  (grin)  Danke.  Yes, it is good not to torture Sev.  He _would_ find something completely horrible to do to me.

CelestialKnight – Thank you.  ^^

MORE COMING SOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Love is in the aaaaiiiirrrr!

**Disclaimer: **All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.

**Plot:**  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

**So far….:** Ah yes, Sev and I have been torturing the poor characters and are now planning on doing something abominably terrible to them.  Draco was a ferret and Harry was chasing him while Voldemort was a turtle.  Everyone else was watching the chase until Sev and I reappeared, along with my friend Lacey and our narrator.  Our narrator was unfortunately informed by Dumbledore that Peeves got into the room, along with several potions from Sev's person stash.  In the last chapter everyone was affected by the Corpus Inflecto, or Body Change, potion and –well– switched bodies.  But now we are being affected by the Amor, or Love, potion.  Except for we Authors and her friends…

**From now on:** We have a narrator!  I have to pay him 50 Galleons a day but hey, at least we have him!  The narrator will be in [brackets] are character actions will now be in (parenthesis) as Word insists on makes words between *asterisks* bold.  Oh yes, and I will now be mentioned as Saerry, Sev as Sev, and our newcomer, my insane friend from the real world, is Lacey.

And the only characters in the room at this time are Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Voldemort, Saerry, Lacey, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Rita Skeeter.

MOVING ON!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[And so we return to the little white room.  Peeves has somehow made his way in here and everyone is now being affected by the three potions he left.  Let's see what's going on….]

The –Ahem– Lovers 

Draco loves Harry

Hermione loves Harry

Ron loves Hermione

Harry loves –oh my– Saerry (Saerry: WHAT?)

Sirius loves –bloody hell– Volde (Sirius: *cough*  Pardon?)

Remus loves Lacey (Lacey: Eh?)

Volde loves –dear God– Saerry (Saerry: **WHAT!?**)

Rita loves Volde (All: ……)

And now, onto the insanity….

[Ah, this is so amusing….]

Saerry: Yea.  For you.  WHAT ABOUT US!

Harry: SAERRY!

Saerry: (points wand at Harry and glares)  Come one step closer, Potter, and I'll blow you into several pieces.

Sev: Oh, let _me_ do that, Saer.

Saerry: (scowl)  No.

Sev: (puppy eyes)  Please?

Saerry: (demonic look that is so scary it cannot be described)  **_NO!!!_**

Sev: (sigh)

Lacey: Oh dear…

Remus: LAAAACEEEEEEY!

Lacey: ACK!  (runs)

Remus: (runs after)

Saerry: Too bad there's only so much room in here.

Volde: SAAAAERRRRYYYYYY!!!!  (runs forward)

Saerry: (demonic look again)  You do and I swear I will kill you.

Sev: And she'll do it.

Volde: (lost puppy look)

Rita: (regains consciousness and comforts Volde)  Oh, did she hurt you?  Bad author, bad…  (glares at Saerry)

All: ……..

Saerry: Ewww…

Harry: Yea.  (sidles close to Saerry)

Saerry: (scowl)  SOD OFF!

Sev: (grimace)  That's not right.

Remus: They _are_ perfect for each other…

Ron: Yea.  Both of them are backstabbing little..**BLEEP!**

Hermione: RON!

Ron: HERMIONE!

Hermione: (hides behind Harry)

Ron: (runs after)

Hermione: Protect me, Harry!

Harry: (watching Saerry with longing look)  Why?

Hermione: (runs off in tears)

Ron: JERK!  (follows Herm)

Harry: (still watching Saerry)

Saerry: (scowling furiously)  NARRATOR!!!

[You bellowed o' Great One?]

Saerry: (growls and shoves Harry backwards)

Harry: Ooof!  Feisty!

Saerry: (rolls eyes)  When does this sodding potion wear off?

Draco: HARRY!  (leaps)

Harry: AH!!!  (hides behind Saerry)

[Erm….]

Saerry: (moves aside so Draco lands on Harry)

Draco: Harry….

Harry: EW!  GROOSSSSS!!!  (tries to get away)

Sev: (grimace)  That's disturbing.

Sirius: He's mine!

Rita: No, he's mine!

Volde: (whimper)  Saerry.

Sev: (blink, blink)  That's even more disturbing.

Remus: LACEY!

Lacey: SAER!  YOU DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BLOW UP YOUR COMPUTER SO YOU CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE!!

Saerry: _I'M WORKING ON IT!_  **NARRATOR!**  Solution.  NOW!

[Okay, okay…  Erm….]

All: **_ANSWER!_**

[Jeez, chill out…]

All: (scowl)

[Okay, nevermind.  Ah, the Amor potion will wear off in an hour.]

Sev: I have to watch this for an hour?!  (gestures at Sirius and Rita fighting over Volde, who is gazing longingly at Saerry)

[I'm afraid so, Severus.]

Sev: Damn.

Saerry: At least you don't have any of them chasing you.

Harry: SAERRY, SAVE ME!!!  (runs from Draco)

Draco: HARRY, COME BACK!!  (runs after Harry)

Hermione: LEAVE HARRY ALONE!!  (runs after Draco)

Ron: HERMIONE!  (runs after Hermione)

Saerry: Y'know, that would be amusing if the situation was different.

Sev: (still watching Sirius, Rita, and Volde in disgust)  Yes.

Saerry: (frown)  Sev, what are you….  (spots Sirius and Rita, who are tugging on Volde's arms and yelling)  Oh now_ THAT'S JUST GROSS!!_

Sirius: HE'S MINE!

Rita: I SAW HIM FIRST!

Sirius: NO, YOU DIDN'T!

Rita: YES, I DID!

Sirius: DIDN'T!

Rita: DID!

Sirius: DIDN'T!

Rita: DID!

Sirius: DIDN'T!

Volde: (long sigh)  Saerry….

Saerry: Ew….

Sev: Definetly…

Remus: LACEY!

Lacey: (hides under a chair and nails it down)

Remus: (sniffles and sits in a corner)

Lacey: (smug smile)

Saerry: So we've got an hour with this?

[Yes.]

Saerry: (closes eyes)  Saints and demons…

Sev: That describes the situation quite well.

Saerry: Yep.  (glances at Sirius, Rita, and Volde again)  Ick.

Sev: (puts a curtain up around the three)

Saerry: Thanks.

Sev: Welcome.

Harry: SAERRY!!  (runs towards her)

Saerry: (demonic glare)

Harry: (turns around and runs straight into Draco)

Draco: HARRY!

Harry: AH!

Draco: (attempts to kiss Harry)

Sev and Saerry: **_SWEET MERLIN!_**

Hermione: (beats Draco over the head with a frying pan)

Draco: (falls unconscious)

Hermione: (starry-eyed)  Harry….  (attempts to kiss Harry)

Harry: Nooooooo…..  Saerry……

Ron: HERMIONE!  (leaps in and shoves Harry and Hermione apart)

Hermione: NO!  HARRRRRYYYYY!!!

Harry: (runs and barricades himself in the corner with Remus)

(a large, plush couch appears)

Saerry: (collapses onto the couch)  How much longer do we have to watch this?

[Its just been five minutes.]

Saerry: Saints…

Sev: (collapses onto couch beside Saerry)  Which means we have to watch….

Saerry: …this for fifty-five more minutes.

Sev: Merlin's beard…

Saerry: Saints and demons…

[And now we shall leave the –ahem– _lover's_ to sort things out and Saerry and Sev to watch…]

Saerry: _WHO SAID WE WANTED TO?!_

Sev: (scowl)  _WHY DO WE HAVE TO WATCH?!_

[Because you're the only one's that aren't either in love or barricading themselves in something.]

Saerry: (glares momentarily at the chair Lacey is under)

[And now we must go.  Stay tuned for another exciting…]

Sev: (snort)  Exciting my….

[We don't want to know that, Severus.]

Sev: (demonic death-glare)

[Ooookay….  Until next time faithful readers and reviewers and all ye crazy people!]

Saerry: Will you just end it and shut up?

[(pout)  Fine.  Ruin my fun.]

Saerry: (demonic death-glare identical to Sev's)

[(quaver)  Ach.  GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE!]

A/N: Stay tuned for the next tidbit of insanity!!!  :D


	6. And so they realize what they've done M...

**Disclaimer: **All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.

**Plot:**  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

**In our last chapter:** The Amor Potion affected everyone with the exception of our author, Lacey, and Severus.

**Now: **The other characters are – ahem – well, they've occupied themselves very well.  Harry is now hanging from the ceiling, which where Saerry tied him from a chandelier to keep him from bothering her.  Hermione and Draco got in a catfight trying to reach him, Ron tried to split them up, and all three ended up unconscious when their heads whacked together.  Lacey has now barricaded Remus under the chair she was hiding under and is now sitting on the couch with Saerry and Severus.  Voldemort is still staring at Saerry, who is sprawled on top of Severus and Lacey's laps asleep, while Sirius and Rita STILL fight in the background

And the only characters in the room at this time are Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Voldemort, Saerry, Lacey, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Rita Skeeter.

MOVING ON!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[Ah, we have returned again.  I'm the narrator if you don't recall and the insanity continues…]

Saerry: (snore)

Lacey: She's still asleep?

Sev: Being as she is lying across our laps snoring, it would appear so.

Harry: (swings back and forth from chandelier)  Can I come down now?

Sev and Lacey: NO!

Harry: Awww…

Saerry: (rolls over onto side)

Sev: (winces)  Ow.

Lacey: What?

Sev: She elbowed me.

Lacey: (eyes widen)  Ouch.

Saerry: (snore)

[Er, announcement.]

Sev: (sarcastically)  Oh, look.  The voice has returned.  Let me guess.  More bad news?

[Actually its good news.]

Saerry: (sits up hurriedly and looks around in awe)  Did I just hear the words 'good news'?"

Lacey: Yep

[You did indeed.]

Saerry: (grins)  Let me guess.  The potions about to wear off.

[Mmm-hmm.]

Saerry: Good.  Now I can get HIM to stop giving me puppy dog eyes.

Sev: That would be a great improvement.

Saerry: Gods, yes.  When does it wear off?

[Right about…now.]

Voldemort: (blinks and looks around)  What was I doing?

Rita and Sirius: (stop fighting and stare at each other)  What's going on?

Harry: (swings more furiously than before)  What am I doing on the ceiling?

Saerry: (laughs)  You mean they have no memory?

Sev: (grins evilly)  They will in a few moments…

Voldemort: (suddenly looks at Saerry and blanches)  How could I have fallen for YOU?

Sev: The potion causes you to fall for whoever you might possibly hold a fancy for.

Saerry: (large, anime sweatdrop appears on her forehead)  Oh, now that's gross.

Sirius: YOUR saying that?  What about ME?  (looks revolted)  Urgh.

Sev: I expected no less from you, Black.

Sirius: Why you slimy…

Saerry: BOYS.   (eyes glimmer dangerously)

Sirius: Meep.

Sev: Ha!

Saerry: Shut up, Sev.

Harry: (whines)  Can I come down now?  I'm getting sort of…dizzy.

Lacey: That would be from all the blood rushing to your head.

Sev: It might make him smarter.

Saerry: Maaaaaybe.  But…now.  I think I'll cut him down.

(a knife appears in the air by the rope tying Harry to the chandelier)

Harry: O_O  Er…maybe we should talk about this?

Saerry: Ah…..no.

(knife slices rope.  Dramatic horror music plays)

Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Ooophf!

Ron: Ow.

Hermione: What hit me?

Draco: POTTER!

Harry: Sorry…

Saerry: Now that was funny.

Lacey: Y'know, in the real world, all four of them would've died.

Saerry: But we're not in the real world.

Lacey: Good point.

Sev: She always makes good points.

Saerry: Of course I do.  I'm the author

Remus: (bangs on the chair)

Lacey: Oops.  Heheh.  Forgot to let him out.

Saerry: At that Love Potion's worn off.

Harry: My head hurts.

Draco: Yeah.  From falling on _mine!_

[Um…]

Saerry: Please don't tell me…  I don't want to know…

[Then I won't tell you that the Canto Potion is about to take affect.]

Lacey: (pries up chair Remus is trapped under)  Don't we ever get a break?

Remus: Apparently not.  And I am sorry…

Lacey: Oh forget it.

Sev: Now we have to sing.

Ron: (squeaky voice)  _Sing?_

Draco: Don't tell me you can't _sing_, Weasley.

Ron: (meek voice)  No.

Draco: (laughs)

Hermione: (hits Draco over the head with frying pan)  Oh yay, oh hey, the drake has taken a break!

All: …….

Saerry: Saints and demons, its taken effect.

Lacey: I thought we weren't affected.

[You're not.]

Sev: But we still have to listen.

Lacey: Oh _no…_

Saerry: Oh _yes…_

[Let the torture begin!]

Saerry: (scowls)  We can easily begin _your_ torture!

[o.o]

Saerry: That's what I thought you'd say…

Ron: Do we have to sing?

Sirius: Apparently we have no choice.

Ron: Do we at least get to choose?

[No.]

Rita: So who chooses?

[Our new guest.]

All: _Not another one!_

[Yep.]

Remus: Who?

(Lucius Malfoy appears and looks around in shock)

Malfoy: Where…?

Saerry: (sits up abruptly and rubs hands together with a glint in her eyes)  Sev, hand me a notepad and a pencil.

Lacey: I sense evil thoughts.

Saerry: Damn right.  Sev?

Sev: (hands notebook and pencil)

Saerry: (grins evilly and begins to scribble something down.)

(a huge snake appears and wraps its coils around Malfoy)

Draco: Father!

Sirius: Ah, what entertainment.

Hermione: That's cruel…but fun to watch.

Ron: (blink blink)

Harry: Can he die?

Remus: (shrugs)

Saerry: Yes.  (grins evilly and scribbles more)

(snake eats Malfoy then disappears)

Saerry: I feel better now.

Draco: _You killed my father!_

Saerry: Not really.  You lot aren't even really here.

Ron: You mean we're just dreaming?

Saerry: Something of that nature.

Draco: LET ME OUT!  (bangs on wall)

Lacey: Don't think that'll help.

Sev: No.

Saerry: Correct.  You lot aren't leaving just yet.  (eyes Skeeter)

Rita:  Eep!  O_O

Saerry: You.

Rita: (runs)

Saerry: COME BACK HERE, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A REPORTER!

Remus: Now what?

Sirius: (shrugs)

Sev: We wait.

Draco: THAT'S IT?

Harry: Hit him again, Hermione.

Hermione: (whacks Draco again with frying pan)

Draco: (falls unconscious)

Ron: Much better.

Lacey: (sighs and collapses onto couch)

Sev: Hmm.

[Well, I think that's all for today.  Until next time.]

Lacey: Or Saerry returns.

[Yes, that too.]

8D


	7. Let the musing begin!

**Disclaimer: **All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.

**Plot:**  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

[ FEAR ME, MORTAL ] = Narrator

I feel sick: = Whatever character is speaking

/I don't think I'm wearing underwear/ = Action

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[ Welcome back to the white room!  I, of course, the dearly beloved narrator am here, guiding you through all this insanity… ]

Atra: Ha!

[ Shut up, you.  This is MY STORY!  I am the NARRATOR! ]

Atra: And I'M the muse!

/Saerwy enters and pokes Atra with her scythe/

Atra: O_O  Oh no…

/Bryvend follow Saerwy in/

Bryvend: Oh yes.  Thought you could get away, did you?

Atra: /scowl/  I considered it.

Sirius: /blink blink/  Who are you people?

[ /whistles innocently/ Saerry's muses. ]

Lacey: Oh no

Bryv: Oh YES.

Hermione: What are you three doing here?

Atra: /shrugs casually/ Reeking havoc.

Ron: Somehow I don't like the sound of that.

Draco: /rolls eyes/  What a brilliant deduction, Weasley.

Atra: /rubs hands together gleefully/  What shall we do first?

Harry: /frown/  How come you look like Professor Snape?

Atra: /scowls/

Saerwy: Because our dear creator has an obsession with him.

HP chars: /rolls eyes/  WE KNOW.

Atra: /glares at Saerwy/  Werewolf bitch.

Saerwy: /snarl/ Say that again and I'll show you how much of one I can be.

Sirius: /offside to Remus/  Oh, I like her.

Remus: /snorts/

Bryvend: Hey!  I thought we were doing havoc on THEM, not each other!

Saerwy: /frowns at Bryvend/  Since when weren't you and Atra at each others throats?

Atra: Since we got here.

Saerwy: /raises eyebrows/  And after…

Bryvend: Back to the old routine.

Saerwy: Thank the stars for that.  You two being civil is the same as Black and Snape being civil.

Sirius: You compare them to us?

Sev: /sneers at Atra/

Saerwy: /rolls eyes/  Constantly.  They're always insulting each other.

Remus: Sounds like them.

Sirius: MOONY!

Harry: He has a point, Sirius.

Sirius: /shakes head in false-disgust/  Traitor…

Harry: /sticks his tongue out/

Atra: ANYWAY…what shall we go to them?

Bryvend: Torture?  /grins evilly/

Saerwy: /evil laugh/  Sounds like fun.

HP chars & Lacey: /gulp/

Lacey: Not good.  Really not good…

Atra: Y'know, I really don't like you.

Lacey: /sticks tongue out at Atra/

Atra: o  Okay.  THAT'S IT!  /pulls out a thick stack of papers from a pocket in his cloak along with a blue pen/

Hermione: What's that?

Atra: The script.

Saerwy:  /mock gasp/  Atra, you wouldn't!

Atra: /smirks/ Of course I would.

Remus: /confused/  Would what?

Atra: /jabs pen towards Lacey/  Erase her.

Lacey: You wouldn't dare!

Atra: /smirks and opens script/

Voldemort: /looks sadly at Sev/  Now why couldn't you be that conniving?

Sev: /scowl/  Possibly because I'm not a power-hungry psychopath.

All:  /wince/  Ouch…

Harry: It's true.

Voldemort: Of course.

Ron: /blinks/  Did they just agree?

Bryvend: Yep.

Harry and Voldemort: /stare at each other in disgust/

Hermione: Disturbing…

Sirius: To say the least…

Atra: DONE!

All: Done what?

Atra: Done erasing her.  /waves at Lacey/  Bye now.

/Lacey manages to get off a round of curses before she disappears/

Atra: /pockets the script/  Now then – on to torture.

Bryvend: /maniacal grin/

All: O_O  Oh dear…

Sirius: Help would be nice…  /slowly backing away/

Saerwy:  Sorry, no help here.

Atra: Nope.  /grin/  Just torture.

Draco: /screams like a girl/

Sev: /bellows/  SAERRY!!

Muses: /laugh evilly/

/a door appears in the wall and Saerry charges in, an unconscious Skeeter in one hand and a long sword in the other/

Saerry: /angrily/  Yes?  I was just planning to decapitate Skeeter.

Sev: Without me?

Saerry: /smiles apologetically/  I'd've brought the head back to burn.

Ron: Skeeter ka-bobs

Harry: /laughs/

Saerry: So, what is…  /trails off, having spotted her muses/

Bryvend: Oh no…  /pales/

Sev: /grins evilly/  Oh yes…

Saerry:  /narrows eyes/  What EXACTLY are you three doing here?

Atra: /looks around nervously/  Ah…chilling?

Saerwy: /puts hand over her face/  You just answered a question with a question.

Atra: Is that bad?

Saer & Bryv: /bland voices/  Yes.

Atra: /surprised voice/  Oh.

Saerwy: Oh YES.  /drops Skeeter/  She can wait.  /eyes muses and grasps the sword hilt in both hands/  You three on the other hand…

Atra: /looks at his counterparts/  Run?

Saer & Bryv: /nod/  Yes.

/the three muses drop down a trapdoor that suddenly opens, Saerry leaping after them.

Draco: FREEEEDOM!!!  /leaps for the door/

/the trapdoor slams shit seconds before Draco dives in/

Draco: /arm moves slightly/  Ow…

Trio: /laugh/

Remus: Now what?

Sirius: /eyes Skeeter/

Sev: /eyes Skeeter/

Sirius: /looks at Sev/

Sev: /looks at Sirius.

((A/N: Ya'll know what's comin', don't cha?))

Sirius: /nods at Skeeter/  Truce?

Sev: /nods slowly, an evil grin spreading over his face/  Truce

All but V & D: /jaws drop/

Voldemort: /grumbles/  Now he becomes vicious…

Remus: I never thought I'd see the day those two would agree to a truce willingly.

Harry: /twiddles thumbs/  Well…it IS Skeeter…

Remus: /nods/  Good point.

Sirius: /rubs hands together/  What shall we do?

Sev: Torture?

Sirius: How so?

Sev: Old-fashioned.  Much more fun to watch.

Voldemort: /sits in corner and sulks, scowling mildly at Sev/  Why couldn't he have been that evil in my service?

Ron: /shakes head at Sev/  Didn't need to know that…

Sirius: /grins/  Iron Maiden?

Sev: /shakes head/  No, save that for last.  I was thinking thumbscrews and hot iron…

Sirius: /malicious grin/  That works too.

/Sirius and Sev grab Skeeter by the arms and drag her off into a conveniently curtained-off area/

Hermione: Why do I get the feeling she isn't going to live very long?

Ron: Because its Sirius and Snape?

Harry: /holds up a hand/  And medieval torture devices.

Ron: Yeah, those too.

Remus: /looks at the trio/  Should we stop them?

Trio: /look at each other/  Nah.

Harry: 'Go Fish' anyone?  /holds up a back of cards/

Ron: I'm in!

Hermione: Why not?

Remus: Deal me in.

Draco: /sighs and walks over with a limp/  Whatever.  Deal, Scarhead.

Voldemort: Incompetent fools…  /sulks in his corner/

/Harry deals out the cards/

Ron: /picks up his cards/  Hey, what happened to that other potion?  The singing one?

Hermione: /shrug/

[ Gone.  No more. ]

Trio, Draco, Remus: /look at each other/  Okay.  /return to game/

Ron: Got any kings, Mione?

Hermione: /smirks/  Go fish.

Ron: DOH!

[ And now we leave once more, going back to our dull, boring lives as the card game… ]

Sirius: /pokes his head out from behind curtain/  And torture…

[ /sigh/  And TORTURE continues.  GOOD NIGHT! ]


End file.
